People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Welp...herpes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
