think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
