Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
