ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize