No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
