David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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