I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
