Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my being single is dangerous.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
