Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
