How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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