I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
