I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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