They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
