Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize