Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize