There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
