i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Drake has all the answers
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
