Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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