you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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