You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize