Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
