is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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