whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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