If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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