I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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