I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
