just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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