What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize