yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
