Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize