If i come over, it means nothing
I'm going to jail i love you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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