My balls are so social today.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
