Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
