some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
