she looked like the before picture.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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