I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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