So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
