Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
