I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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