North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
we should paint friendship bongs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
