Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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