I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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