Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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