u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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