I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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