is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
