please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
