what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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