I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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