i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
