Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
