Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
