Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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