They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
