Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
