He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
