Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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