No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
